all about me.

school has only started for 2 days. i am suffocating again. i can't bear her fucking fake face anymore. on the surface, she keeps aking me why am I not happy before the break, i try to blame everything on the weather. well, i am lucky that the weather after the break here is getting a lot better. at least, i dun have to wear heavy clothes again. i could wear something that has a little style, which makes me feel a lot better already. i dunno y am i not happy before the break. asking me a question 'are you happy?' i can never give you a definite answer yes. all i will answer is not bad. fair. there are always things around that you dun feel right. as time goes by, i have learned how to live with those things. no matter what happened, i just have to live with it. i think as long as i didnt step into her office, i am ok. once i stepped in the office, i feel the stress and voices all around. it's kind of like hallucination, or just out of my imagination. i dunno what am i doing now is right or not, i am not sure what am i doing now is what i want. but i am sure there are things around that i dun want. i love making music with those students. i love seeing them playing happily. i love music. this is the fact. i love the counterpoint class. from all these, i see that i still so in love with music. it's just a matter of who is the one playing/ teaching/ whatever. i am trying to keep myself on track. on my own track. please bear in your mind: now, should be the happiest time.

he is going on tour from today till sunday. no hug for 5 days. i dunno why he just has his own way to make me smile everytime i saw him.
intimacy is always the best moment.
dun ever try to break the status quo.