1. officially hate chinese new year! after being away from chinese new year for 2 years, i almost forgot how it's like. i am not enjoying any of it at all. i don't mean i hate my relatives, it's just seeing my relatives remind me how old i am getting. my younger cousin is giving me red pocket money! HA! and he already had 4 year old daughter! i am so not staying hong kong for new year next year!
2. mentally sick of so many people and things. there are things that pple have done i disagree for million reasons. all i have to do is to pretend i see nothing, hear nothing, feel nothing. i am trying to be as emotionless as possible. as high EQ as possible.
3. couting down the day for another challenge. to be honest, i am freaking scare and nervous. i know i am lazy and not good enough for that. i tried. i wish i could be all alone and dig into whatever things i wanna discover. anyway, life is too short. its worth for a shot!
4. please stop playing or singing or fucking humming the song Ponyo anymore! i am not interested in the movie and i am not planning to watch it. in a 45 minute bus ride, the kid behind me playing that chorus out loud from a cell phone for the fucking 45 minute non-stop. from not knowing the lyrics, till able to sing and memorize it.
5. still haven't watch red cliff. which i dont think i am planning to watch it anymore. still wanna watch the curious case of benjanmin button. still waiting! by elimination, i watched Yes Man! i wanan watch it when i was in nyc during christmas, unexpectedly hilarious. good theme. we must live our life. i am trying to live my life in every single minute. sometimes, i lost. after watching this movie, i am now addicted to Munchausen by proxy & Zooey Deschanel's Yes Man.
2009/01/31
2009/01/18
post mogwai; takkyu ishino
i can't handle pop music anymore. this include pop, rock, post-rock....... my ears hurt. i can't really get into it. back from Mogwai, post-rock. they took me to a journey, thought i could leave everything behind, i couldn't. wish i have a joint at that moment. push me further away, one day, i believe; i will cut off all my tides.
ok, haven said that i can't handle pop music anymore. the next show that i am gonna go is 石野卓球 Takkyu Ishino. techno and some dancing, too young to die!
ok, haven said that i can't handle pop music anymore. the next show that i am gonna go is 石野卓球 Takkyu Ishino. techno and some dancing, too young to die!
2009/01/17
Flashback
back for a week, already sick of the stressful life i have in hong kong. i have million things to do, and i am a panda who needs 12 hours of sleep a day. how am i going to accomplish all the tasks?
i am tired of everything happened around me.
we all have different choices, one may choose one from another. as a friend, i will give you my advice. take it or drop it, it's entirely up to you.
'loveless' isn't the right word, but it's the first word that comes to mind. (chuck palahniuk's CHOKE)
this is my life at the moment.
2009/01/16
Disappointment / Anger of the day
First of all, am i the luckiest girl in this world? just got another call from my friend. she told me, my 1st ex bfd, the singer/designer, got married already. he is the one that i am a little disappointed with. I met him as if a fairy tale. we end up falling in love, and breaking up. I wish I would have met him now, instead of when I was 17. we did keep contact even after we broke up. i love being a friend with him, he is much older than me, can always help me solving up problems and sadness. however, all out of a sudden, since i got to the states, after a year, he never reply my email again. it is like someone suddenly vanished in the air. I think I haven't seen him for more than 3 years already, maybe even more than that. I couldn't even remember when is the last time he and I met. I don't know why he and i lost contact. he is really a friend that i truly treasured. i am disappointed. but good for him, finally get married. I would never imagine that he is the marriage kind of guy.
ok, the second thing is, I was pissed at work today. dealing with my professor is one thing that I hate very much. I mean dealing with boss in general, especially he/she is a foreigner. so here we are, working on the stupid macau valentine's day concert. there is a chinese folksong piece in the program. then my professor asked for my help in terms of the lyrics and stuff. for the lyrics, I am perfectly fine with it, i am glad to help. What i really hate it, all Foreigners, not only americans but this time Austrian. whenever they see Chinese music, they assume all Chinese know about chinese music. when I was going through the score with him, he kept asking me question and said 'is it a familiar tune for you?' 'is it a typical musical gesture for a chinese orchestra?' first of all, that's a folksong transcription for a Western Orchestra, for chinese music, there is no such thing anyway. Chinese orchestra is never something chinese, it's what people nowadays trying to make chinese music easily approcahed for the audience. Chinese music are meant for self entertainment and free improvisation. It's all wrong from the starting point as a folksong transcription to orchestra. besides, I am chinese, doenst mean i study chinese music. and for chinese music, there are thousand/ millionaire different kind, with thousand years of chinese history, there is no way for me to even know a little about it. especially for me, being live in Hong Kong for most of my life. It's a British Colony for hundred years, we don't listen to chinese opera or chinese music. we listened to the beatles!!!!!! PLEASE DON'T EVER ASSUME CHINESE MUST KNOW CHINESE MUSIC!
ok, the second thing is, I was pissed at work today. dealing with my professor is one thing that I hate very much. I mean dealing with boss in general, especially he/she is a foreigner. so here we are, working on the stupid macau valentine's day concert. there is a chinese folksong piece in the program. then my professor asked for my help in terms of the lyrics and stuff. for the lyrics, I am perfectly fine with it, i am glad to help. What i really hate it, all Foreigners, not only americans but this time Austrian. whenever they see Chinese music, they assume all Chinese know about chinese music. when I was going through the score with him, he kept asking me question and said 'is it a familiar tune for you?' 'is it a typical musical gesture for a chinese orchestra?' first of all, that's a folksong transcription for a Western Orchestra, for chinese music, there is no such thing anyway. Chinese orchestra is never something chinese, it's what people nowadays trying to make chinese music easily approcahed for the audience. Chinese music are meant for self entertainment and free improvisation. It's all wrong from the starting point as a folksong transcription to orchestra. besides, I am chinese, doenst mean i study chinese music. and for chinese music, there are thousand/ millionaire different kind, with thousand years of chinese history, there is no way for me to even know a little about it. especially for me, being live in Hong Kong for most of my life. It's a British Colony for hundred years, we don't listen to chinese opera or chinese music. we listened to the beatles!!!!!! PLEASE DON'T EVER ASSUME CHINESE MUST KNOW CHINESE MUSIC!
2009/01/09
welcome back!
to myself, 'welcome back!'
i have to admit that i made a mistake in this trip. i am trying to drown myself into the idea that 'everything will be fine.'. i wish.
left for 2 weeks, suddenly rediscover the beauty of Hong Kong. i still love LA a lot. for ny? i am not so sure about it. next time, if i do go back, probably won't be the winter time. i can't bare for the lost again. all these travel, time and money spent on the plane, i still can't meet the one i wanna see the most. it's fate. thank you for the snow! we both agree it's fate. is it a test? or it's fate that everything should be over without an ending.
i don't know. i am reading the book called 'choke' now. it's too dark. made me a little sick!
i have to admit that i made a mistake in this trip. i am trying to drown myself into the idea that 'everything will be fine.'. i wish.
left for 2 weeks, suddenly rediscover the beauty of Hong Kong. i still love LA a lot. for ny? i am not so sure about it. next time, if i do go back, probably won't be the winter time. i can't bare for the lost again. all these travel, time and money spent on the plane, i still can't meet the one i wanna see the most. it's fate. thank you for the snow! we both agree it's fate. is it a test? or it's fate that everything should be over without an ending.
i don't know. i am reading the book called 'choke' now. it's too dark. made me a little sick!
2009/01/05
2009/01/01
F 2008, F new year!
goodbye 2008. goodbye new york! in a short time, i dont think i will be back. happy to be hammered and stoned before evening. this is the only thing that can happen in nyc. thanks for that unexpected encouter. whoever, whatever who set me up for this disastrous catastrophe, let's end this right here. Fuck u all. stop fucking up my mood. 31st dec, 2008. my worst day in 2008. fuck it. bye!
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