WTF is wrong with me?

my physical body and my mental mind is not functioning properly. the longer i stay in this place, the worse it gets. i have a serious disfuction with my digestive system, whatever i ate, i feel like its being stucked in my stomach forever and never got digested. then, i get fucking fat. and the aching is getting worse. my mental mind, i dunno what am i thinking and what am i doing, i know i have work to be done, but never got it done. this is not me. i am an organized person. i like things under control, how can i let things be this way? i am just a fucking idiot. i have to leave this hell. i have to. i really have to. this is really driving me fucking crazy.